thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
