Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Randomize