I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
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