I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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