Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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