wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
Randomize
