the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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