some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
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