I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
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