just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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