They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Randomize