she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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