I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Randomize
