I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
