You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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