My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
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