I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
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