If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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