he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
