we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
