just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
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