Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
