No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
