I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Randomize
