I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
Randomize
