I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Randomize
