She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Randomize
