I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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