too bad you live with your parents still
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
Randomize
