Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Randomize
