last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Your shirt... Was in my pants
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
