I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Randomize
