I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Randomize
