I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
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