That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
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