In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
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