yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Randomize