I'll bet she douches with gravy.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
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