I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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