ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Randomize
