He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
