He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Randomize
