"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
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