Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Randomize
