we should wear snuggies to the strip club
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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