just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
Randomize
