This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
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