Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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