from now on my penis is your penis
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
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