so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
