I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
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