You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize