Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
What drink are we having for lunch?
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Randomize
