They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
