she sounds like chewbacca in bed
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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