so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Randomize
