Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
