Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
