I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
