Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
