Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
