Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Randomize
