Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
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