it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize
