my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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