piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize