he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
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