Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Randomize
